Day One

It has been a very up and down couple of days. Sometimes, I feel good about what's happened and ready to move on, other times I crash and burn.

After caving *once again* and texting that boy while I was in the middle of a very emo, wailing moment, saying "i miss you so much :-(", I received no reply. Which devestated me some more.

I then realised I had to get myself out of this rut because we ain't going anywhere, anymore, ever again, ever. So I wrote down everything wrong with him, with us, and why I needed to get over this crap. It was truly cathartic and lasted several pages, and I'm sure I could have done even more.

Then I deleted his number from my phone, blocked him from my Facebook, and *gasp* quit online stalking him. I can't see what he's up to, what he's writing, when he's online and so on. I just want him out of sight, out of mind. And it's been suggested I need to do this for at least 3 weeks.

I have tried this previously...and I think the longest I lasted was 5 straight days before immediately replying to anything he sent. But now I really need to get serious because it has been over a month now, my school work and family/social life have suffered, and I am plain sick of being a miserable mess. I have also deleted that cry-inducing playlist of mine and only listen to the upbeat ones. They were a surefire way to promote wallowing in self-pity and uncontrollable bawling. 

So the combination of me not wanting contact and obviously neither does he, I think we can successfully avoid each other. We shouldn't even bump into each other in town or anything because he doesn't go to my friend's gigs or anything anymore.

I am only on day one...but have felt really good today. I can actually read my papers for my assignment (with the distraction of an occasional chat or Youtube video). And it helps that cute bartender was texting me...I would have totally gone there if he wanted to get to know me though, I'm not quite in the mood for random sleepovers. But the attention was certainly nice and I actually found myself forgetting about the whole crappy-boy scenario once in a while.

Let's see how long this lasts! And I'm talking to you, my anonymous one reader haha.