Confused?

So much can happen in a week.

This time last week I was upset about the germans again. But I had an awesome long weekend planned with my friends to the beach...and I forgot about him all over again.

But guess who decides to text me on the Friday night that he misses me and he's lonely etc. I brush it off and tell him I have nothing to say back...but am left thinking about him all weekend. Great.

Well being the soft touch, pushover that I am, I agree to meet him on the Monday. We go out and have milkshakes at the lake (yes, sounds romantic but at this point it was purely just friendly). Then we go to my friend's house to make dinner...which is weird cos we rarely did things like that when we were together for two years.

Anywho, after a few awkward moments and minor reminiscent flirting, I drop him back home. No sneaky hugs or accidental slip ups of the sexual kind.

But then I get home and the feelings of sadness come flooding back. And I'm bawling again! Grrrrrrrr!
Then we start chatting online...and we start to consider getting back together. I know. I am so retarded.

We did have another chat the next day...a more serious one about everything that was wrong with us and what we would need to do to fix it. Even discussed the who we've been with since the breakup stuff. Don't get me wrong...I'm not all butterflies and rainbows about the prospect of it. I still think he could turn back into a cunt again once he has me and gets bored. So I've agreed to hang out, publicly, to see what we have left. Not even any strings, if either of us want to call it quits I will be totally accepting of it.

The thing is, although he says he misses me and has wanted only me even though he has tried it with others, it's becoming quite clear that he is just a horny devil and that may be all he wants. So I'm not going to give that up to him, not this time. At least not until I know for sure.

And I'm off to a fun weekend in Wellington with my friends. I'm going to do whatever I want. And I totally kicked ass on my finance test today so that has added even more to my elation today.