This week has been the happiest I have been since the breakup. This was even after finding out that the boy spent the night with someone else last weekend.
Ok, so I had my last emo moment on Sunday. I stupidly texted him that I missed him and so on. And then I decided to cut him out, stop talking to him, vented on paper and only allowed myself to have positive affirmations. And I was so relieved and started feeling really good the next day.
Then he decides to email me about how I am etc...wow it really is true that no contact works haha. Then he started chatting to me on facebook. I let him know that I was fine with both of us moving on and I accept it and can be happy now. He seemed even more bummed than me (maybe cos he realised I'm not wrapped around his little finger anymore, pathetically waiting for him). I told him not to give me his new phone number. Wow, go me! I mean, of course it is hard to know it is completely over with no chance of reconciliation. I had a two minute cry out of shock finding out about the other girl; but then, I started to see that it was necessary and inevitable. He was a bit of a horndog and it's not like he's obligated to me or owes me anything. And I probably would have done the same in a similar situation (but I think I'm being far more fussy!). It's also just as exciting and refreshing to think that the future yet to come is even better.
So occasional sadness, but no more bawling or moping anymore. He's still on my mind, so I'm only halfway there. I think I've even stopped hoping he'll be at all the events and things I'm meaning to go to.
And I can study and shop and all those fun/necessary things I found sooo difficult only days ago. I think part of the amazing feeling is that I honestly never thought I would get there, even at this very slight level. But at least it means a new direction. I think of our fun, romantic times and am happy that we had them, but now I'm no longer missing them or hoping we can do that stuff again.
So now I anticipate the day when he barely even crosses my mind.
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